Wednesday, January 1, 2014
Pressure.....they say it makes diamonds and I am willing to try
2014 here I am....I just joined the charge of NaBloPoMo and have made a commitment to blog every day during the month of January. O. M. G. do I even have anything to say?! Actually, I think I do. Love the saying in the above picture....Pressure Makes Diamonds. If it does then I should be at least a sparkling 10 carat Princess cut gem.
I begin the new year with an enormous amount of optimism but also feel looming pressure. So much to get done and so much to get done right. My divorce was finalized two years ago. Seems like I should be farther along then I really am. But I am my own worst critic. My entire world needs so much refinement but much of the time although I am in constant motion I find myself paralyzed inside. Moving ahead yet standing still. I wish I could figure out exactly why this is. Maybe this will be my year. The year that all the pieces finally come closer together and the landscape begins to come into focus.
My first order of business....for the love of God get myself organized. I moved into my new house and ongoing project a year ago. My garage is still packed with boxes. I don't even know what the hell to do with all of the stuff that is in there. Pieces and parts of my old life. Memories packed away. Who knows what lurking inside taped boxes of cardboard that I haven't looked at in over 24 months. Clothes everywhere, furniture that I love but that doesn't fit with my new smaller quarters. I need to shed more then just a some of what I have accumulated. But, it is so hard to let go for some reason.
Pressure. I think I need to really put the pressure on. It will make me crazy to do it. I know I will try to fight it every step of the way. But I am going to try. I am going to keep pushing through. I am going to imagine and visualize and believe there there is a sparkling diamond of a future out there waiting for me to arrive.